Mike&Sarah

Tag Archive: adoption

Restoration

It seems like God called us to live our life out loud, encouraging others from the circumstances and events that challenge us to love and trust Him more deeply.

Sarah shared our experience of God’s overwhelming grace through infertility, our miscarriage and adopting Phoebe at a Cru Campus Christmas conference in Baltimore before New Years Eve, and we were surprised by how our message of restoration resonated with the 1000 students and staff in the room.  Sarah talked about brokenness, living in “the now and the not yet,” and looking to Jesus as our ultimate healer.

RADIATE 2012 – Sarah Evers from Mid-Atlantic Cru on Vimeo.

Your prayers and giving enable us to tell people in New York City and around the world how Jesus restores and transforms lives. Thank you for your partnership.

Adoption Day

It finally arrived. The only thing that stood in our way was Hurricane Sandy, but once power was restored to downtown New York City, we were able to reschedule the appointment that the Hurricane wiped out.

Good thing, too. The judge who finalized our adoption is retiring at the end of the year and if we weren’t able to get this very important date squeezed into her schedule in this calendar year, then we’d have to start all of our paperwork all over again in 2013.

That stress never materialized despite my efforts at freaking out. We took the 1 train and transferred to the 2 to make our way to the Surrogate Court on Chambers Street where we met up with our lawyer in the beautiful lobby and rode the elevator to the fifth floor. There we waited in an majestic court room flanked by two fireplaces designed by Tiffany & Co. The room also had a gorgeous, wood-carved viewing gallery on the second floor.

After a short wait while the Judge’s staff assembled, we were ushered into her private chambers, which was larger than our entire apartment and had a marble fireplace. It was a grand room to be called a “private chamber.” Sarah’s sister Carrie appeared just as we entered, so she slipped in with us to photo document the auspicious occasion. Thank you Carrie!

In between questions and statements from the Judge, we raised our right hands and swore to be Phoebe’s parents. It was a great way to kick off Thanksgiving.

As of the day before Thanksgiving, on Wednesday, November 21, 2012, Phoebe Irene Evers became legally, officially, as recognized by the State of New York, forever and ever OURS. Amen!

With humility we gratefully thank her birthmother for her courage, endurance and bravery.  She chose life and we are forever grateful and forever changed by that decision.

With joy we thank our family, friends, and community for celebrating and supporting us through the swift introduction to parenthood.  Our closets and bookshelves are bursting with your practical, tangible help and our nursery is a reminder of your love.

With deep thanksgiving we praise our God who gives every perfect gift and does all things well. Thank you Jesus for building our family in this redemptive way!

Thank You

“Thank you.” It seems like such a little phrase, but it comes from my heart.  I’m so humbled by the kindness and generosity people have poured out on us to celebrate our Sweetie PIE’s arrival.

My family bent over backwards to help us settle in: Chrissie and her 5-year old daughter made room in their home for us and we all lived together while we waited for some of the legal paperwork to be approved so we could legally return to New York with PIE.  They were inconvenienced, but didn’t complain!  My other sisters came over to “ooh” and “ahh,” and they even watched PIE for a few hours so Mike and I could go out for lunch to celebrate our 4th anniversary.  My mom was a happy grandmother for the second time.

Mike’s parents drove out to meet PIE on her first day.  They stayed for several days and brought gifts and sweet love for their seventh grandchild.

Our NYC church small group assembled our nursery so that when we returned to the City with PIE we walked into a the joy of a completed nursery.  They painted furniture, assembled the crib, washed the linens, sewed pillows and seat cushions, and arranged gifts and furniture.  Our nursery is gorgeous (I hope to write about it soon)!  Thank you Best Fellowship Group Ever!

Dear friends provided us with a quick “baby moon” get away in the midst of so much secret running around for fingerprinting and legal paperwork.  How delightful to escape to the beach for a looong weekend together.

Many people sent gifts and cards and gift cards to celebrate PIE and settle us into our new life as a family of three.  PIE’s closet overflows with new and hand-me-down clothes and we are quickly going through containers of formula and boxes of diapers.  Everywhere I look I see your gifts: tangible expressions of love and excitement about our “insta-family.”

I’m so grateful for each kind word and encouragement, though I’m not up-to-date with my handwritten thank you notes yet.  No, I’m not simply “grateful,” but I’m also overwhelmed, appreciative and humbled.  Your generosity has left me in unexpected awe again… which is a great way to describe this year: unexpected.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you!

A Word from Her Daddy

written by Mike on February 15, 2012

Here I am writing my first blog. You may be wondering with the rest of the world, “What in the world possessed Mike to blog?!” No one has ever asked me to blog, nor do I think anyone could get me to blog till today. The one who has the unseen powers to get me here is my soon-to-be-born baby girl.

My baby girl is due the end of March. I did not know about her till 2 weeks ago. But God knew her before the creation of the world.

Sarah is much better at painting the picture for you on the ups and downs of our journey. I’ll leave that up to her to bring you along. It possesses a lot of miraculous turns and excitement. I’m only here to make a couple of things clear.

I want it to be clear to my baby girl that I wanted her and loved her before I ever met her. She is not born yet, but she is already mine. I cannot wait to meet her and anticipate her arrival. She is loved already by her daddy and mommy. Since we met her birth mother I cannot stop thinking about her and praying for her. Daddy was so excited that he bought her a tutu the day after the birth mom said she could be ours!

I want her to know that her birth mom loved her tremendously. She chose to give our baby girl life. She chose to give her up for adoption knowing she wasn’t in position to care well, for a lifetime, for this precious baby. She chose not to receive the unconditional love from a baby, but rather experience the pain of giving up her own flesh and blood.

I also want it to be clear that she is not replacing the child Sarah and I Iost thru our miscarriage in September. She is not a replacement, nor does she have the power to take away our grief. We still mourn over the death of our child and will never forget the life growing inside of Sarah. Our unborn baby will aways be a part of us and helps shape who we are today.

Some may say “See, this baby girl is the reason why you had a miscarriage.” I say “NO” to that! There will never be an acceptable reason for why my baby had to die. Could a parent ever accept a “here-you-go” reason for the death of their child? I can accept that death is part or our world as a result of sin entering into it. I accept that God has and does mourn with Sarah and I over the loss of our unborn baby. And I trust that God can redeem our loss and bring life out of death. That is what Christ did on the cross. Beauty can come out of death is what my faith promises.

Others may think, “We are so happy for you, but I’m sure you’d rather have your baby whom you lost.” Again, I say “NO” to that!  In my heart, and for always, I want them both. They are both my children.  I could never want one over the other. God is big enough to have brought both children into our homes. Stranger things have happened in this world. I am grateful that the Lord will fill our arms with a our little girl before our biological one was due. He is kind and merciful to do that though He did not have to give us our adopted baby girl to prove His mercy and kindness.

I want my baby girl to know that she has never been a second choice. She is loved and wanted simply because she is ours. Her mom and I always planned to adopt with hopes of having biological children. She is part of our first choice and we love her dearly. Her mom and dad have talked of summers at the beach and winters in the Big Apple.

I anticipate another wave of grief the end of April when our biological baby would have been due, even while holding our one-month old baby girl. I anticipate hilarious moments and fond memories of our girl in her tutu while remembering the one we lost. Embracing the ends of both spectrums of emotions simultaneously is the Christian life: living in the fallen world while holding on to faith in the One who gives life.

 To my baby girl who is due in 6 weeks, know that our home is already yours. Diapers are being bought, showers are being planned, and our budget is being refigured. We long for your arrival into the Evers home!

(Note:  Phoebe Irene Evers was born on Tuesday March 13, two weeks early.  She arrived just six weeks after we first heard of her, and we’re thrilled to finally hold her.) 

Welcome Baby Girl!

Mike and I have good news to announce:

We grew by two feet…We have a baby!

 Short Version:  We’re adopting a baby girl who was born 11 days ago, and she is with us now.

Daddy and Daughter on her first day

Longer Version:  On Wednesday morning February 1st, I took a call from an out of state pastor.  He got our name from mutual friends after he was approached by a young woman who was not in a position to raise her unborn baby girl.  (Interestingly, this call came just one day after we attended our first informational session about becoming foster parents in New York City.

Four days later, on Sunday February 5, we met the bio-mom.  We had about an hour together, and it was wonderful.  She seemed to understand the emotional difficulties associated with the adoption, but also acknowledged that she is not able to give her little girl the kind of life and home that she would want her to have.  The bio-mom is very brave and wants her baby girl to have the best in life.  We got along very well and she invited me into the delivery room!  (Mike had to wait in the hallway.

Mother and Daughter

The weeks following that meeting were full: hiring a lawyer in NY as well as one in the birth state, requesting letters of reference from friends, writing short biographies, helping my sister move out of our apartment, registering for baby gear, planning a nursery, getting physicals and getting finger printed, legal back ground checks, keeping all of this quiet while bursting with joy and caution.

Our St. Patrick’s Day Parade (aka: First Family Walk)

Phoebe Irene Evers was born two weeks early, but we were ready… barely!  Dear friends in NYC loaned us their car for as long as we need it, so we hit the road to be closer to the birth place.  I bought a car seat an hour before our bio-mom called to tell us to meet her at the hospital.  But when that call came, we ran in circles trying to get out the door!

We’ve grown to love and care for our bio-mom.  She’s been so sweet to us, and she followed through on her invitation to have me in the delivery room.  I coached our bio-mom through her labor and witnessed the birth of our daughter, holding her just minutes after she was born.  Mike soon came into the delivery room and was able to feed her her first bottle.

Will you take a moment to pray with us:

Heading to the Hospital

    1. Pray for the bio-mom’s continued confidence in her decision and her healing emotionally, physically and spiritually as she recovers.
    2. Pray for our Phoebe to stay healthy and connect with us quickly.
    3. Pray for us as we move forward through a mountain of paperwork to finalize the adoption and enter into the responsibility of being parents for this little one.

We are honored, humbled, overjoyed, delighted, and in awe of what God has done.  We held Phoebe in our arms just six weeks after we found out about the opportunity to become her parents.  Our heads are still spinning, and we’re so grateful.

Great is Thy Faithfulness, Great is Thy Faithfulness

Morning by morning new mercies I see

Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not

Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me

(We’re registered at Babies-R-Us,  Target, and Wal-mart, and we’ve read the article about raising children in the city.  We’re excited about becoming parents in NYC!)

Summary of Our New Life